Monday, December 21, 2009

santa's poetry go-kart

Hey, The Poetry Bus is back for a Christmas special! Actually, it's
[Santa's Poetry Go-Kart ]. So, if you'd like to hop aboard, get
yourself and your poem over to TFE's blog. My ticket for Santa is
posted as follows...


Oh, Tennenbaum



It smells
like plastic and dust,
that tacky impostor
who lives in a box
in the cellar.

It's hinges and sockets
replace the sappy
mess that sticks
to my fingers
and makes them itch

of wood and pine,
my hands contort
to unwind the nest
of wires that clings
to the trunk

and makes me
threaten to blow it up
with fireplace logs,
like a rocket bound
for the North Pole.

It's understood,
the cheesy faux stump
sports ready-made
lights that glow
so easy, and hey,

I can leave it up
til Ground Hog's Day,
if I want.



willow, 2009

64 comments:

  1. smiles. we went artificial for the first time this year...its just not the same...

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  2. They make them much more realistic looking these days. I think it's quite lovely! Very fitting poem. Happy Holidays!

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  3. True artificial has no smell.
    But silk dosen't leave pine or fir
    needles every where. I was still cleaning needles in March..

    Great post.. You are so
    special Willow

    Yvonne

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  4. A fake tree does have its advantages. But, oh, how I would miss the scent of pine.

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  5. You just described my life. I've only had a real tree once, I don't think it made it til Christmas.
    Wonderful poetry :)

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  6. You just described my life. I've only had a real tree once, I don't think it made it til Christmas.
    Wonderful poetry :)

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  7. I'm a Sagi. It rings true for sure.
    Nice poem. I wish we had some snow.
    QMM

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  8. Willow said,"and make me
    threaten to blow it up
    with the fireplace logs,
    like a rocket bound
    for the North Pole..."

    LOL!!!!

    Hi! Willow,
    Oh! Yes, you just described my parents' tree...with ready made lights,
    but surprisingly, Christmas ornaments that have been passed down from three generations.

    Happy Holidays!
    Willow to you and your family!
    Take care!
    DeeDee ;-D

    By the way, I have to check-out Joyeux Noël, because Leonard Maltin, just recommended it over there at ReelZ.

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  9. Yep, the beauty of an artificial tree! I wish that I could afford push button decorations! LOL!

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  10. Hi Willow
    Fun poem... my constant dilemma.. will I or won't I go real this year...

    Thanks for the Poem link... I just happen to have one I prepared earlier... hehe

    Have a great Christmas

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  11. Hurrah, Willow, and while I love the smell of pine, one can go artificial and just put a few sprigs of pine here and there for that same smell!

    The poem is wonderful!

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  12. Like this one, Willow! Have shared these same sentiments. That's why a real evergreen sits in my living room right now, decorated with glass and wooden beads, colorful lights and treasured ornaments with a beautiful angel on top. Christmas is a special time for cherishing.

    Merry Christmas and a New Year filled with love and magic! (a new decade!)

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  13. Oh noooo, I hate those tacky imposters that live in a box in the cellar. Great poem Willow! You hit the nail on the head.

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  14. Willow, I never took you for a plastic tree person.What is the world coming to?

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  15. This cheerful account of tackling the hardware of Christmas quite dispels my Christmas birthday blues!

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  16. We have what I call our 'Christmas Twig', a very short artificial tree. It's brightly decorated, has twinkling lights and plays it's small part in the festivities to perfection.

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  17. Your poem is wonderful, Willow!! I added my Christmas poem to the poetry go-cart!

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  18. That should guarantee you a ride on the bus to journey's end. Very impressive.

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  19. you gotta love the hokey fakery

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  20. It's very pretty. I have a very tiny artificial tree with its own lights.
    The poem is great too

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  21. Hilarious Willow. It playfully captures my own conflicting feelings about artificial trees.

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  22. Willow,
    Your tree is so beautiful and I believe you have more of my mom in you than you realize. She would leave her tree up for the longest time. But thats OK...enjoy!
    The Bach

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  23. Touching. And yet those ugly things in a box still are beatiful when they are lit up. I bought a huge bunch of fresh pine to decorate much but it doesn't have much smell. By the time Christmas trees get to Florida, even the fresh ones seem to have no scent. Merry Christmas. I love your header, too.

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  24. Hello Willow,

    I had imagined that the pre-lit versions would be easier than the neverending tangle of loose fairy lights - but maybe not! I did our tree last night and use lots of 'Noel' room spray!!

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  25. I love this Willow!

    "so easy, and hey,

    I can leave it up
    til Ground Hog's Day,
    if I want."

    Awesome!
    Happy holidays to you and yours.

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  26. That poem has made me feel a little less guilty about not having a "real" tree willow. I just managed to jump om Santa's Go kart in time - so am busy doing me entry now.

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  27. Your tree looks beautiful, and your poem is a hoot! We bought an artificial tree prelit last year but somehow a gremlin got into the box and lost the top bit, so this year we have a real tree again! It is a hassle, but the result is terrific and the smell is great. The help of two grown sons to do the schlepping, the putting of the fragrant tree in its little stand, and the lights was a major plus this year!

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  28. The picture you saw, Stone Quarry Road, is there but the stone quarry is closed. I worked there as a teen for one summer. I bagged lime in 50 pound bags and then wheeled them with a hand truck into a box car and stacked them as high as I could. The problem with the job was that lime burns the skin and sweating and lime dust is murderous. I quit. My father-in-law to be, worked there driving a mechanics truck under ground or in and out of the mine to repair trucks. His father-in-law worked there picking out stones that were not limestone from a conveyor of rocks on the way to the stone crusher. So the old road turned out to be almost like part of our family. Glad you got to see it.

    We have used several fake trees for many years and we have had fake pine tree candles, and perfume to go with them. Nowadays, the tree we have or trees we have go up in each room and different sizes go on different flat surfaces.

    My wife of 54 years has a thing about a flat surface. She figures God made flat surfaces to pile things on. LOL So we got lots of fake trees everywhere.

    When somebody asks why the lights are not on or shining on one or the other of the trees, I tell them I got tired of holding the plug.

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  29. Snigger snort. When our new church was built, they built a special closet so that the Christmas tree could slide in and out fully decorated. Seems like cheating to me.

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  30. Abe, thanks for sharing that quarry story...hmm...that rhymes! One tree is quite enough for me, heehee!

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  31. Butternut, that does take all the "fun" out of it, doesn't it? I never did enjoy the lights, but the putting on of ornaments is tradition!

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  32. Okay, Bach, you might take your tree down the day after Christmas, but you do put it up the day after Halloween!!!

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  33. Pine sap makes my hands itch, too!

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  34. Oh funny. We have not gone artificial YET...four years ago we switched to root ball trees...less mess and of course...GREEN. We have plenty of room for new trees at The Glen.

    Your tree looks SOOOO warm and cozy. I should like to cozy up near it with an afghan and a cup of ginger tea!
    Merry Christmas dear Willow!

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  35. Very witty! :-)

    I consider myself lucky to have a real Tannenbaum - a balsam fir tree - in my family room, thanks to the kind farmer who once again put his tree lot up just around the corner. He is kind enough to carry the tree up the stairs to our apartment and he sets it up too. Last year's held onto his needles until the 10th of January and filled the air with its fragrance just as long.

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  36. Loved it! The first verse is an absolute wonder.

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  37. Willow, that has been a huge debate for years around here. Every year I try with all my might to sway thinking in favor of a real tree...My son and I wanted one so desperately this year, imagining the adventure we could have as the entire family went in search for that wonder Tannenbaum... Alas, our efforts failed and we were reminded every day for a week, by my husband, of all the horrors that could happen with a real one...Can we say Dooms-dayer? So, an artifical one stares back at us, but is still quite lovely ...I will eventually get a real tree again one of these years, though... :D....

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  38. Yeehaa!!! I relate! Beautiful! ♥

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  39. Super impressive poem Willow. But somehow I got an image of Clarke Griswald & that moment where he flicked the switch on that OTT Christmas Tree & the whole of North America lost power!
    Millie ^_^

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  40. Tricky feisty festive poem ,Willow a selection box of words,all visceral smells and noises and movements and texture and depth and feelings and complications. Thanks!
    Ps those sugar cookies lood brilliantly delicious, I'd love a few of them, email some will ya?

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  41. Good for you! Recycling is the way
    of the future.I like your green concept.Of course you can throw in a splash of red!It's Xmas!

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  42. Thanks for all your kind comments, gentle readers. You're the best in the blogosphere!! ~xx

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  43. This is a lovely take, enjoyed it v much

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  44. I know! They can be brutes, can't they? Mine's now a smallish, self-lit, 2-piecer that's up and done and decorated in no time, but I kind of miss those real-tree smells, the sap, the pine, the needles in the rug. Kind of.

    Great poem. Loads of fun!

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  45. Mine probably will stay up that long...hehe...I hate all the work. I do bring the wreath inside. No need to broadcast to all the neighborhood that my tree is still in the living room.

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  46. 'Tacky imposter' - I love it. Great poem, Willow. Make yourself a cup of tea as a reward!

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  47. Hi Willow,
    Great account and wonderful looking tree at end up. ; )

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  48. Good one, with a nice witty ending. (Being from the UK, I'll have to google Ground Hog's Day!)

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  49. Hehe, we always had fake plastic trees and your poem protrays them them in all their cheerfully tacky splendour.

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  50. For years and years we all seemed to have colds at Christmas. One year someone blew their nose, and a moment of clarity came to pass.

    "Perhaps we are allergic to the tree."

    We went fake. No more Christmas colds, except for the occasional real cold.

    We miss the Christmas Tree hunt. We miss the scent of real tree. We don't miss the bags of used tissues to throw out with the wrapping paper.

    Mike

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  51. I never thought I'd be a plastic imposter person either, but that's what there is at the lab (and I spend an awful lot more time with the work-tree in sight than my tree at home, where I've gone non-faux and non-treecutting and just decorate the ficus), and it's really not so bad.

    Happy Karting!

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  52. Fake tree? Never.

    Real all the way, or nothing. The smell in the house, the warm fires made with the cut branches after the tree is taken down... there's just too much wonder in the real thing.

    Just my two cents.

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  53. "Hinges and sockets" -- you got that right, sister. As much as I love my fake Christmas tree, I miss the scent of pine filling my house. It's just not the same.

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  54. Very fun--ode to the artificial tree!

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Inject a few raisins of conversation into the tasteless dough of existence.
― O. Henry (and me)