Progression of days playing
in a constant loop,
a marriage of minds.
The loop is safe;
just what we take,
walking all that is left.
Time hangs in the air.
Oceans dry up.
Paths wind in sentences,
give rabbits chase,
willow to climb.
Curves follow a mutual train,
pause for picnic lunch,
explicit cake.
Done with doing, I wait
for the loop to be installed
permanently; with no way out,
a cul-de-sac.
Nothing more annoying than a constant loop... lol
ReplyDeleteDepends on the loop...
DeleteI like a constant loop for a time, but then my 'what's next' gene kicks in! This was sinuous and hypnotic - I had to read it a few times and picked out something new each time. Lovely.
ReplyDeleteI thought "done with doing" stood out. Excellent. I've been there, doing that.
ReplyDeleteThat was a beautiful one !!
ReplyDeletei loved the 'done with doing' as well....
ReplyDeleteOh, you made beautiful use of the image .... endless looping, lovely concept.
ReplyDeleteThe rabbit made me think of Alice (it's very ingrained in me those stories.) Time hangs in the air when you are caught in a loop!
ReplyDeleteI've been in a loop... it sucks!! I love your poem however!
ReplyDeleteLoops!! I like the soothing tone to the known. But with a bit of luck, the tape breaks and we start again. BTW, those old tape machines are making a comeback! Low tech, real results. Hang on to it!
ReplyDeleteLove S4, and your closing cul-de-sac!
ReplyDeleteForget the loops. This is a fine 'sample'.
ReplyDeleteOh, yes, I've had a progression of days like that!
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of a loop being safe - you know what's on it, what's coming...but there is also a frustration and a sadness that comes with that. Great to read :)
ReplyDeleteGood writing. Not really sure what to make of "The Loop" though. It could be a view on life that is a constant loop, with things never changing much. "The Loop is safe" indicates that we take the safe route without ever challenging ourselves to try something different.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. I love the sound of "explicit cake". I'm seeing visions akin to The Mad Hatter's Tea Party. Lovely.
ReplyDelete~Jen
The loop is fine as long as we don't erase it! Interesting piece.
ReplyDeleteTis Groundhog day , Mademoiselle Richtofen !
ReplyDeleteSuperb! I think we'll all be gathering at the old cul-de-sac tonight!
ReplyDeletea cul-de-sac ~ it's exactly what we get, when waiting for someone to install for us a loop....~ like 'times hangs in the air', but wouldn't love to see 'oceans dry up'...one has to work at his/her dream thoroughly...
ReplyDeleteObviously something recorded on the loop is something you want to hear over and over.
ReplyDeleteJust had a stab at my first poem i really fun to do and to meet other participants.
~ Eddie
This bit is delicious: "Curves follow a mutual train,
ReplyDeletepause for picnic lunch,
explicit cake". I love how it just rolls over my tongue.
Sometimes a constant loop isn't such a bad thing.
ReplyDeletebeen there, but now i tend and try to see the end to connect to the next one.
ReplyDeletenice write!
JJRod'z
Love the imagery in this Tess...." a marriage of minds".....and "explicit cake".....food for thought of what we remember and what comes back around again.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your kind comments, dear readers...
ReplyDelete