She's obviously been
with someone new
since she drifts
now and giggles easy
like she's spent
a few weeks
at a dude ranch
or with some weight lifters
or nudists
a funny sounding accent
has made itself at home
rolls off her tongue
like a cigarette
she tucks
behind her ear
to smoke later
most likely
she'll hit the road
drive the Lincoln Highway
by truck, stop
at mom & pop diners
from here to Omaha
maybe it's because
she's drinking coffee again
but I don't think so
tk/October 2011
Listen as R.A.D. Stainforth steps into the detective role:
(you can visit his excellent blog Black Dogs here)
tk/October 2011
Listen as R.A.D. Stainforth steps into the detective role:
(you can visit his excellent blog Black Dogs here)
this does indeed roll off the tongue like a cigarette...
ReplyDeletelove this, so playful and Tom Waits-like
i kind of imagine a girl with a tuck cigarette on her ears... LOL! nice one again Miss Tess! Thanks for the prompt btw...
ReplyDeleteJJRod'z
The little minx. I can just picture that cheeky smile on her face.
ReplyDeleteAh, yes...the new accent, the giggles. Perhaps using new phrases and wearing his jacket too? It's so giddy at the beginning! Loved this one. It brought back wonderful memories.
ReplyDeleteI like the Chandeler-esque style here, very darkly observed.
ReplyDeleteJamie.
I hereby declare this your best poem yet!
ReplyDeleteLove it. Immensely. The image is prize-worthy! :-)
I find it amazing that you write SO MANY wonderful poems. Your tongue keeps rolling -- the pen follows.
ReplyDeleteWow.
Tess this is now one of my favorites! Yahoo!
ReplyDeletexoxo
Karena
Art By Karena
Love the poem. I’m sitting in a diner now watching… Taking notes.
ReplyDeleteTess i love the characters you create
ReplyDeleteYou grabbed the reader with your poem ... like a promising screenplay does for a producer!
ReplyDelete"...rolls off her tongue
ReplyDeletelike a cigarette
she tucks
behind her ear
to smoke later"
Just superb.
What a good little movie..I could go on and on with it...very nice!
ReplyDeleteI was hooked from "dude" to "Omaha"... and then some.
ReplyDeleteDare I say "been there, done that"? I haven't, really, but this makes me feel like I did. What fun, Tess!
ReplyDeleteKay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie’s Guide to Adventurous Travel
like some weight lifters or nudists...lol...nice pairing...hmm...yeah when the mood changes and you aint doing anything different...smiles.
ReplyDeleteOoh, I like this very much.
ReplyDeleteAn intriguing piece, Tess.
ReplyDeleteYes, the 'cigarette' line is superb.
Great poem
ReplyDeleteThe third stanza is very nice
funny how we give ourselves away.....great image- I've always loved Friedlanders work.
ReplyDeleteDeceit, romance, and a road trip. The perfect story for a chilly Sunday afternoon. My Magpie Tales this week is In Vince’s Car.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI think I'll turn around and give her a lift after all.
Hmmm.... are you telling us something, Tess? Drinking coffee again can lead one down strange paths...
ReplyDeletea funny sounding accent
ReplyDeletehas made itself at home
Don't accents get picked up fast when you meet a new crowd? ♥
Here's lookin at you kid!
ReplyDeleteI'm very curious about this piece, Tess... and your writing process. Did you start out with a photo, the idea for a mood, or the concept of the house detective and a smarmy take on a stake-out?
ReplyDeleteThis poem creates such a mood for me ... don't know whether to be intrigued in a good way with this woman or repelled by the idea of someone watching her long enough to build those suppositions!
The tell-tale signs always give it away. probably not the coffee...love the giggles : )
ReplyDeleteSusan, click on the link to Magpie Tales...it's my creative writing prompt blog, where I post a weekly photo as a starting point for a poem or short vignette.
ReplyDeleteVicki, coffee does tend to have its way with me...
ReplyDeleteIntriguing poem. Perfectly expresses those things we intuit but don't know for sure. Sometimes tantalizing, sometimes heartwrenching.
ReplyDeleteFriggin' brilliant! I know this woman...cheeky, sassy, alive! Glad to have seen her again, in your poem.
ReplyDeleteLinda Sue, do you have her number ...
ReplyDeleteI love the way you set this up. Very atmospheric.
ReplyDeleteThis is a wonderful play on intuition, Tess. The problem with being hyper-intuitive is that you can be dead cert of something, and dead wrong. On the other hand, as Ladycat notes, probably not the coffee...giggles :-)
ReplyDeleteI feel kind of bad for this guy she's probably going to leave behind - though maybe he'll find some nudists of his own once she's gone :)
ReplyDeleteDear Tess: Listening to Dylan and feeling this wild wind blowin' free (maybe in a Rover, perhaps?) :) love love love this poem! Especially read by the intimitable R.A.D. Stainforth!
ReplyDeleteOh man I really get such a vivid image here. It is so good I can smell it.
ReplyDeleteA remarkably satisfying story, told in a few lively words...
ReplyDeleteI really like this! Fantastic writing.
ReplyDeleteAs always......brilliant write! ;)
ReplyDeletewieght lifters, nudists, cigarettes behind ears - you do it everytime - roll images together beautifully
ReplyDeleteWhere is the chewing Gum ? if she has all the other things going, I know that has to be somewhere in the mix! Thanks-
ReplyDelete...and she's wearin' him like some James Dean, smooth tight jeans... loved this Tess...
ReplyDeleteI admire her escape! Edgy, confident and rare.
ReplyDeleteLiving life on the edge, huh? Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteLovely. Really liked this so much. So clever, so cool.
ReplyDeleteK.
I bet she wears her blouse collar turned up too.
ReplyDeletelike the play with truck and stop unexpected
Thanks, Suki...I wondered if anyone would notice that truck stop thing...
ReplyDeleteShe's got a tongue like an electric eel, and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils ...
ReplyDeleteYeah, she doesn't need chewing gum...
ReplyDeleteI REALLY like this! I especially love:
ReplyDeletea funny sounding accent
has made itself at home
rolls off her tongue
like a cigarette
she tucks
behind her ear
to smoke later
It's the kind of thing that I wish I'd written. just friggin awesome!
edgy
ReplyDeleteLove the voice... it's great for the poem (which I love). I have a great visual!
ReplyDeleteTess,
ReplyDeleteThe cigarette-on-ear motif is daring. Haven't known that done in some time.
Never taken off for Omaha, but I envision wide, fast roads, the only thing fending off loneliness being the 'interior dream', the 'hot love motive'.
TFool
This is awesome... I love the imagination and every car does have a different story, a different driver. So many places to go with this prompt. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteSuperb!!
ReplyDeleteI knew a gal like that once...she was either my fourth or fifth wife--grin!
ReplyDelete(Maybe both?)
Tess, you are still amazing as ever, with imagination, and words perfectly placed. Thank you, Girl!
This so suits the B&W mood of the image!
ReplyDeleteTotally cool! Love how it fits the photo so well. Makes me want a sequel!
ReplyDeleteGreat Tess! Great voice and beautiful verse. B/w pics always fascinate me!
ReplyDeleteHank
If I hadn't loved the whole (which I did) the third stanza would have won me over completely. The voice is totally convincing.
ReplyDeleteThis is great... how she relishes her adventure - and freedom.Ohhh to be young again!!
ReplyDeleteFull of intrigue. Love it.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThere are many possibility for her acts, the freedom of take is ours.
ReplyDeletelove the read, cool magpie.
A lovely reading. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteShe sounds like a character from 'Who Framed roger Rabbit?'. Delicious!
ReplyDelete