Is there ever a time when it's a good thing not to apologize? I happen
to think there are some instances, when it's best to hold back.
I'm the first to admit, I sometimes struggle with low self esteem.
Much of it stems from a childhood environment rife with a toxic mix
of mental health issues and ultra fundamentalism. To this day, my
first reaction is to back down, in typical codependent fashion,
assuming I'm at fault. Before taking time to think through an issue,
I take the blame, in effort to please.
Recently, there was a suggestion that my blog background color
might not be the easiest for reading print. What did I do? I apologized
and immediately went to my Blogger settings and changed it to a
color I hated, just to be compliant. What was I thinking? I loved the
original color. Luckily, I came to my senses and switched it back.
Usually, when I react this way, my personal coach, WT, looks me
directly in the eyes, and loudly, in his very best Julia Child voice,
says, "Never apologize!" He reminds me to embrace my creativity
with confidence. This time, he happened to be out of town, so I had to
look in the mirror and quote Julia, complete with a little chuckle.
I realize there are times when it is very appropriate, in fact a
necessary sign of respect, to ask to be forgiven. Some people never
feel any remorse for their actions. But for me, Ms. Child's quote is a
very effective way to keep my self confidence in check and my Libra
scales in balance.
Here's a dozen of my favorite things never to apologize for:
1) Never apologize for acting on your instincts.
2) Never apologize for being passionate.
3) Never apologize for being smart.
4) Never apologize for demanding respect.
5) Never apologize for saying no.
6) Never apologize for not embracing someone else's agenda.
7) Never apologize for disagreeing.
8) Never apologize for your faith.
9) Never apologize for your own sense of creativity.
10) Never apologize for ordering dessert.
11) Never apologize for being funny.
12) Never apologize for living your truth.