Monday, October 3, 2011

Red Sense




I'm impatient with religion
because when you mix in

just enough obsessive
Tabasco compulsive

it cooks up monsters
gods and terrible animals

that hit you broadside
like flying elephants.

Covered by the blood(y) Mary
in a massive state of grace

I learned early on
to play red light/green light

by carefully ticking
all the appropriate boxes

in the meteor shower
of pachyderm particles.

But now and then
I feel bad about the pennies

I've sucked from the sofa
with the vacuum.



Tess Kincaid
September 2011


Listen to the inimitable R.A.D. Stainforth read this piece:
(you can visit his excellent blog, Black Dogs, here)



Click here to join Magpie Tales creative writing group.

72 comments:

  1. Covered by the blood(y) Mary
    in a massive state of grace


    very imaginative.

    love it.

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  2. Never confuse religion with Christianity....they are not the same breed of cow.

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  3. I can't seem to link to the magpie blog for the prompt, Tess. : (

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  4. Oh, and holy elephant, I love your magpie.

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  5. @mybabyjohn... but they all make great hamburgers! MOOOOOOOOOO.

    @Tess... yes, yes, yes.

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  6. Good Grief!...Umbrella please!
    Cheers!

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  7. red sense indeed, love your take,

    soaring imaginations.

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  8. Tess,
    Yes,we are still bothered with monster gods and terrible animals. You get them on the road in speeding cars mostly!

    Hank

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  9. The Magpie gave me chills. Makes me feel like the end is near.

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  10. well! I'll just go fix myself a Bloody Mary! Excellent! Love the Tabasco compulsive!

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  11. the meteor shower of pachyderm particles...you certainly have a way with words...nice prompt tess....

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  12. Too many bloody marys and I am in a perpetual state of grace ...

    this is one of your very best!!!

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  13. Good Lord a lot of things are cooking on this earth and samples sent upstairs!! ;) If wishes were horses then elephants would fly I think :D !!

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  14. Great one Tess! I'm going to be thinking about "red light/green light" for a while. Engineer Bill right?

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  15. Oh, my gawd what a rip-roaring
    Sunday magpie art thou, sucking
    up those red pennies, hovering
    above the manor and weeping
    blood at the state of the planet,
    at the state of man, for so very
    many of us have found ourselves
    impatient with "religion", caught
    for a time in the maelstrom of
    choice as the swirling clubs all
    laid our their mandates, rituals,
    and hit lists, God on one side,
    then the other. Yours are brave
    words, painful words, grievous
    images, and though it brings up
    pain in my chest, brings tears to
    my eyes, I love each one.
    i

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  16. Pat, red light/green light is a game we used to play as children...the "it" person standing at the end of the yard...the others at the opposite end...when the it guy turns his back to the others and says, "green light" ...they run as fast as they can....the it guy can say, "red light" and turn around at any time...freezing the others...

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  17. that's right...nothing wrong with a healthy sense of guilt. oh, those poor lost pennies!

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  18. Oh, wow.

    I love this one.

    And that one.

    And that one.

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  19. Just about a year ago, dealt with some monsters spewing meteor shower
    of pachyderm particles. They won, I lost. Guess they were more obsessive.

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  20. Love it! I, too, am fed up with religion, but I find the human monsters much worse than the gods and flying elephants!

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  21. Awesome, Tess.

    Kay, Alberta, Canada
    An Unfittie’s Guide to Adventurous Travel

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  22. Lola, religion can change humans into monsters, gods, and animals...

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  23. Poets amaze me, mystify me, and draw me in. This was another good one, Tess, and what a great prompt, to boot!

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  24. Pachydermal poetry to suit all thicknesses of skin.

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  25. No one can say it quite like you Tess....this is brilliant! I tried to comment at Magpie Tales,but was unable to. Hope you have wonderful week! :-)

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  26. Tight words with smooth flow..nice

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  27. This IS really good! Better pachyderm particles then lightning bolts! This red hot imagery is a great play on words and vice and religiosity ... good work!

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  28. pennies sucked from the sofa with the vacuum. hmm, something i have done myself. the photo is definitely something out of a surreal dream.

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  29. I like the beginning-tobasco says
    a lot.Enjoyed red light green light too- )somehow my brain translated
    capture the flag!) thanks.

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  30. Dear Tess: A fine and brilliant admix of emotion and intellect, past recollections; all recreating the original context! Loves;

    of pachyderm particles

    and of course elephants work for peanuts which costs only "pennies" "sucked from the sofa" Imaginative; very!

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  31. This prompt certainly calls for mixed up nightmarish imagery, red covers it well. Thanks Tess.

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  32. Oh, indeed, the cooking up of monsters and terrible sins - an elephant's paradise.

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  33. red sense, flying elephants and bloody marys - what could anyone else want in a poem :)

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  34. "just enough obsessive Tabasco compulsive" oh yeah...
    Red light/green light was the only way to survive.
    Great poem, right down to the last penny. Thank you, Tess.

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  35. Wonderful! And what a great photo, too!

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  36. Red light/green light...very subjective/objective (full of feeling!!)

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  37. Those first three lines hit the nail roundly on the steel head!

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  38. the religion of elephants weighs on us all
    good one

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  39. while the reading's pretty decent, i'd prefer to hear your voice... nothing like getting it 'straight from the horse's mouth', so to speak

    love it!

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  40. I got lost in thoughts of red light/green light, memories from the school yard came flooding in :)

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  41. Just to tell you that Derrick, who used to blog as Melrose Musings, has agreed to be my cyber partner at your ball - as he was last year. He will be on holiday but is packing his tuxedo.

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  42. I love elephants and even ones with wings...great words for great image.
    I'm having a scheduling conflict for the Willow Manor Ball but I will be sending you a 'LITTLE' something with my regrets on the 11th!!!!!!!

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  43. Tess ...what a memory you have stirred up with this mouth-watering poem....red light/green light...it was scary at times...your heart bumping in your chest!

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  44. Weaver, that's wonderful! It will be so very nice to see Derrick again. He is missed in the blog world.

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  45. The damaging onslaught of isms -- found this poignantly engaging Tess...

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  46. Blue Sky, the manor ball will not be the same without you...

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  47. W-O-W! Nice job, Tess.

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  48. Wonderful phrasing and lovely words.
    Your poems are always a pleasure.

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  49. Exemplary, perfect, wild-worded.

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  50. Thank you for your wonderful encouragement, dear friends. You make sharing my poetry pure pleasure. I really do have the best readership in the whole blogosphere, and for that I am truly grateful.

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  51. You have the best readership because week after week you consistently publish poems and articles that make the reader say WOW.

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  52. Tess, your poem is very powerful with its tense imagery and sensible ideas. It rings quite in unison with my feelings regarding religion and the "things" it could cook up.
    Greetings!

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  53. The prompt seems to have brought the best out of everyone, either for seriousness or humour. You have managed both.

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  54. I found the last few lines simply endearing.

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  55. Like your imagery as typified by "meteor shower of pachyderm particles" Indeed, "pachyderm" does have the sound of the names the particle physicist dream up, like "intermediate vector boson"

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  56. Thanks to you, at least now we know why the recipe tends to go wrong: it's the obsessive Tabasco compulsive! Love it.

    My Magpie 85 is Topsy.

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  57. As usual it's all already been said, so I'll just chime in the general 'WOW'!!! *smile*

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  58. Some prompts strike to the core for people - this one evokes emotion in many
    nice way to stir the pot

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  59. love your meteor shower of pachyderm particles

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  60. Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?"
    Priest: "No, not if you did not know."
    Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"

    ......
    :-(

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  61. Real imaginative.....especially the first two lines...

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  62. Oh yes it cooks up monsters indeed. A wonderful read

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  63. "in the meteor shower
    of pachyderm particles."

    so many pictures come to mind. A shower of bits of elephant. I love elephants. I'd like a whole one of my own.

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Inject a few raisins of conversation into the tasteless dough of existence.
― O. Henry (and me)