Theme Thursday = Toy

For some reason, as a girl, I adored throwing my dolls up in the air.I mentioned before about the pleasure of throwing the baby Jesus from my grandmother's nativity set as high to the ceiling as I could. She was not at all amused with this little fetish and would promptly order me to stop, which I did; until she left the room, of course.

When I was little, I would often dream I could fly; just start running in the grass, faster and faster until I was airborne. It was absolute heaven, drifting, wind in my face, arms out like Peter Pan, looking down at the roof of my house and yard. I've heard it said to dream of flying was a sign of creativity or was it simply my childhood need to feel liberated?

One bright summer day in East Lansing, Michigan, when I was five, I was doing my favorite Shirley Temple doll a favor by giving her the thrill of flight. Higher and higher she flew until she landed with a thump on the roof of the house. I was horrified. The thought of her up there on the blazing asphalt, was more than I could bear. I pleaded with my parents to rescue her, but to no avail. Fall came and by November, she was buried with a heavy blanket of snow. All winter, I imagined her up there, abandoned, cold and bewildered.

Spring finally came. My father, anxious to see a ball game, climbed up on the roof to adjust the TV antenna. He descended with a treasure; my beloved Shirley. Her ringlets were smashed, one of her eyelids hung partially shut, and she had lost that curious, inviting scent of new plastic, but I had never seen anything so lovely. I never dreamed of flying again.

Head of a Doll

Whose demon are you,

Whose god? I asked

Of the painted mouth

Half buried in the sand.

A brooding gull

Made a brief assessment,

And tiptoed away

Nodding to himself.

At dusk a firefly or two

Dowsed its eye pits.

And later, toward midnight,

I even heard mice.

by Charles Simic

I am dedicating this post to my two bloggy friends who are crazy about doll heads. Go pay Sharon at Sweet Repose and Steviewren at A Little Birdie Told Me So a visit and read their posts. You'll see what I mean!