love and belonging

I claimed myself and remade my life. Only when
I knew I belonged to myself completely, did I
become capable of giving myself to another, of
finding joy in desire, pleasure in our love, power
in this body no one else owns.

Dorothy Allison, from Two of Three Things I Know for Sure


My auntie, likes to call me "Swanie", from the Hans Christian
Andersen tale. There was a time when I tried to be someone I
wasn't, always trying to wear a costume that didn't fit. Now, older
and wiser, I've embraced my uniqueness. I realize it's okay to be
me, and have reclaimed myself. I can now truly appreciate
acceptance and harmony.

Auntie, who understood this long before I did, always signs her
correspondence, "with love and belonging". This dear salutation
soothes a certain craving for interconnectedness, a kind of
clannishness. It may be my Scottish DNA speaking, but I think
we all have an inner desire for kinship and society.

photo from google images

over the hill

Years ago, when my youngest son was four years old, he was
enamoured by the Dickens classic, A Christmas Carol. It was
approaching the holiday season and he had watched the Muppet
film version umteen times. One afternoon, as a manor visitor was
leaving, he playfully called out, "Bye, old Scrooge!" This particular
visitor, being none too amused, gave him an icy scowl and hastily
stomped out of the manor. I was mortified.

"Punkin, why did you say that?"

"I thought it would make them laugh."

Well, sadly, this person certainly didn't laugh. But what a different
scenario it might have been, if they had. There is an innocent honesty
in the thoughts and actions of children. Many times they can assess a
certain situation to a tee. The funny thing is, this person was close to
the age I am now. Heavens to murgatroyd, I can't imagine a small
child sizing me up and comparing me, of all people, to Scrooge.

There is something absolute in the old adage, "you are as young as
you feel". Happiness is a choice. There is much to be said, in my little
book, for emotional riches. No matter how far on the other side of the
hill we might be, we can make a choice, like Scrooge finally did, to be
youthful in spirit, bringing warmth and generosity to those around
us.

May you be happy in the life you've chosen.

.

(Alice to Ebeneezer Scrooge)

A Christmas Carol

by

Charles Dickens

publish and be damned

When a blackmailer tried to extort money from the first Duke of

Wellington to cover up a disreputable aspect of his past, the duke's

response was: "Publish, and be damned." He had enough confidence

in himself not to be swayed by this threat to his good name. Sure

enough, his reputation remained unsullied, and indeed he won

respect for allowing the story to be known. He knew the blackmailer

lives off fear, and if one shows no fear, a blackmailer is powerless.

.

The subjects of blackmail and hate mail have been bounced around

a lot at the manor lately. There is something to be said for standing

up for what you know is right, as in the wise words of Thoreau, "For

an impenetrable shield, stand inside yourself".